The Journey from an Old Oak Tree to a Young Bamboo Shoot

By Gitanjali Govindarajan (Sabbatical from 15th October 2024 to 15th January 2025)

What the Sabbatical Was for Me:
A large portion of my sabbatical was dedicated to reading and reflections. I delved into topics that intrigued me, invested time in my Mixed Martial Arts initially, and connected with people I hadn’t spoken to in years. These conversations were not only refreshing but gave me a chance to learn and reconnect.
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I also worked on things closer to home, setting right aspects of my personal space-physical and emotional that had been overlooked. For the first time in years, I truly rested—no early mornings for work and reminders to people or late-night tasks to complete. I allowed myself the luxury of sleeping well, binge-watching some OTT shows, and traveling. A highlight was my trips to France, Agra, Lonavala, Chennai and Mumbai, which gave me the much-needed change of environment and inspiration.

Interestingly, I spent time on activities like djembe sessions, which helped me rediscover a rhythm of joy and creativity. This sabbatical turned out to be everything I hadn’t planned for. Initially, I thought I would train for a cage fight, travel extensively, or go biking—but I ended up doing none of these. Instead, I felt at ease not following my initial agenda and challenging my own plans.

Waking up without a strict schedule was not easy at first, so I loosely aligned my day to the rhythm of Driver or Vikus’s routine. Over time, I embraced the unstructured days and the space they provided for spontaneity and rest; something I’d never given myself before as I didn’t know one can.

Questions and Reflections During the Sabbatical: Several questions emerged during this time:

• What does leadership truly mean when running an organization versus working within it?
• How can we balance personal care with our instinct to constantly care for others?
• What gaps exist in training and hiring, and how do we address them meaningfully?

Most importantly, how do I set and maintain boundaries. I’ve always struggled with drawing the line between personal and professional, between giving endlessly and taking a step back for myself. But I’ve come to realize that boundaries are not just about protecting space—they are about sustaining energy, ensuring longevity in the work we do, and caring for oneself with the same intention that we extend to others. If we don’t create space for our own well-being, how can we show up fully for those we seek to support? These reflections often oscillated between moments of wanting to return immediately and realizing how essential this time was for my own growth and clarity.

A Memory That Has Stayed with Me:
One of the most powerful memories from my sabbatical is the time spent with my siblings and their families. These were moments of pure joy and connection that I had deeply missed for years. What made it even more meaningful was experiencing a space where neither of us was swamped with work. Staying in their homes allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of their lives, how far the three of us have journeyed individually, and how our perspectives on self, work, and trust have evolved.

I also had the privilege of having my parents stay with me for a month. This provided a rare opportunity to observe their daily routines, see what occupies their days, and reflect on how I might envision my own life at that age. It prompted me to think about what I would want to do and what I might avoid when I reach that stage of life.

This time reminded me of the importance of nurturing relationships outside work—something that in my case has been sidelined of several reasons. I feel so proud of the differences we’ve come to appreciate among us, the acceptance we’ve built around these differences, and the areas we can continue to work on to strengthen our bonds. This reflection reinforced the value of family’s enduring presence and the beauty of aligning with each other while celebrating individual journeys.

Struggles During the Sabbatical:
The biggest challenge I faced was guilt—the rescuer in me found it hard to step away and let the team take charge. This guilt didn’t stem from doubting the team’s capabilities but from my own struggle to care for myself without feeling responsible for everyone else. It’s a mindset I realized I needed to challenge. There were also moments of doubt, wondering if I had timed this sabbatical right, especially with unmet targets looming in the background. Balancing those doubts was the reassurance that this break was well-deserved and necessary. Another significant struggle was staying away from work while my husband, who works with me, was managing things. At times, I could see that something might not work the way it was being handled, but I had to restrain myself from stepping in. This restraint was harder than I expected, and ironically, though I thought I’d get more family time with him during the sabbatical, that didn’t happen as much as I’d hoped. It was a learning curve, and these struggles, though challenging, gave me clarity on the importance of stepping back, trusting the process, and making space for personal boundaries.

Insights and Learnings to Implement:
The sabbatical has equipped me with several insights that I’m excited to bring back. Distance gave me the clarity to identify leadership gaps and areas that need restructuring within the Organisation, our processes and structure. I’ve gained a renewed understanding of work-life balance and the need to incorporate rest and rejuvenation as a mantra. This time has reinforced the importance of creating opportunities for everyone to pause, reflect, and recharge. I’ve committed to ongoing learning, including my interest in integrative medicine and djembe playing, which I plan to integrate into our programs and personal practices.

A Sense of Rest and Wellbeing:
Yes, I do feel rested and rejuvenated. However, it’s a work in progress. This sabbatical wasn’t just about resting physically but also about recalibrating mentally and emotionally. The waxing and waning phases of the moon have become my mantra for balancing periods of high activity with intentional rest.

Family and Team Support:
The family provided incredible support during this time. Divyu returned home from Chennai, and Viksu temporarily moved to Mumbai, creating opportunities for unexpected yet meaningful connections. Having Ama and Apa stay for a month was another highlight, as they got a glimpse of the routines and rhythms of daily life while experiencing a healthy and positive association with Bangalore for a change. These moments brought the family closer and reinforced the importance of nurturing these relationships.
As for the team, they stepped up to manage roles and responsibilities as best as possible. There were moments when stepping in was necessary—not due to a lack of capacity or capability, but as a response to situations where things needed a different approach. This period offers me and the team an opportunity to reflect on what may have gone wrong and what learnings can be taken from those moments. These reflections are essential for growth, both individually and collectively, to strengthen the team’s ability to navigate challenges and function seamlessly.

Feedback to The Cocoon Initiative:
The Cocoon Initiative has been a wonderful process. Thank you, and please keep it going. This initiative is so valuable, and the idea to support it financially eases the process for structures like ours. The presence, the consistent support throughout, and the sense of being held are commendable.

Advice for Others Planning a Sabbatical:
For anyone considering a sabbatical, my advice is simple: plan it with intention but leave room for spontaneity. A sabbatical isn’t just a break from work—it’s an opportunity to pause, reflect, and recalibrate. Use the time to identify areas you’ve been avoiding, invest in yourself, and reconnect with what truly matters.

Coming back, I’ve realized the importance of tackling long-procrastinated issues with renewed rigor. This break has allowed me to see the organization, our mission, and my leadership with fresh eyes. It’s a reminder that stepping away doesn’t mean letting go—it means returning stronger and wiser.

I got time to realize a lot more about myself, which, in turn, has led to deeper reflections on personal and professional relationships. It has given me clarity on what they need, what I need to let go of, and the importance of appreciating boundaries so that I can be gentler with myself.

Given the nature of the work, I do and how deeply stories and myths are woven into my life, I’d like to end this sharing with a story.

Once upon a time, in a vast forest, stood an old oak tree and a young bamboo shoot. The oak tree, proud and strong, said to the bamboo, “You are so fragile. A gust of wind can break you. Look at me—I stand tall and immovable.”

The bamboo, humble but grounded, replied, “Your strength is admirable, but I do not envy it. I may bend, but I do not break. My resilience comes from my ability to sway with the winds of change.”

One day, a mighty storm swept through the forest. The oak tree, rigid in its stance, was uprooted and fell. But the bamboo swayed and danced with the wind, standing tall once the storm passed.

This story resonates deeply with my sabbatical journey. Like the oak, I had built a structure of strength and perseverance over the years. But it was in bending—stepping away, reflecting, and allowing myself to rest—that I discovered the resilience of the bamboo. The lesson for me lies in flexibility, in finding the courage to pause, and in learning to move with the rhythm of life rather than against it.

Thank you, Cocoon Initiative, for giving me this space, time and being a container that held this experience.