What is my path to retirement?

By Vaishali Pai, Founder Director, Tamahar Trust (Sabbatical Dates: 1 February, 2025 to 30 April, 2025)

It’s been 16 years since Tamahar started and I have loved every minute of it, of course there were many moments of self-doubt, despair, frustration but ultimately, after resolving what seemed like impending doom every single time, there was satisfaction at what we achieved and what we set out to do. Each challenge made us stronger and from a single founder-worker situation, we have managed to reach a strong 55-team. Some members of this team found it difficult to stay away and not being able to reach out to me at will was a challenge for them, at least in the initial days. It took them more time to disengage than it took me to get away. I believe this was a good learning for all of us. I am sure the team is more confident in attending to anything that comes their way in my absence.

Before Tamahar started, post my education as an Occupational Therapist, I had worked for 20 years, starting in 1990. Coming from a workoholic family, there was hardly any thought for a sabbatical-like time-off in these 35 years, so this sabbatical was untested waters, a breath of fresh-air and freedom which I didn’t realise I needed. I had on multiple occassions wanted a sabbatical, but that in my head was to pursue further studies, like a doctorate or so. My apologies for making this autobiographical, but I needed to pen this down, more to tell myself that not-working is an option or that I could do it without becoming a nuisance to others. Everyone around me was unusure as to how I was going to stay away from work, but I did!

My time off was peppered with multiple travels within and out of the country, which started on the first day of leave, which was a wonderful transition into forgetting my duties and focussing on myself. Between these travels, I had an amazing time trying out/learning some things that were on my bucket list - watercolours, charcoal painting and Kathak. It was gloriously peaceful taking up these activities. The good part is that I have not finished mastering these skills, which means I will need to continue working on these even when I get back to work. I hope I will be disciplined enough to include these in my daily routine once work starts full-swing. I did indulge in some house-work, some tasks that were overdue, repairs around the house and the like. Did that get in the way of complete rest? I am not sure, perhaps it did, but it also helped me focus on things keeping unnecessary thoughts at bay. I am an over-thinker, there were times when I was talking too much in my head and that meant a bit of stress. There were times when I felt, had I been at work, I would not have had the time to focus on these fluff bits, so I guess the 3-month suggestion was a great one. Had I opted for a 6-month break, it would have been tough is what I feel. I did however rest, there were guilty-pleasures like napping whenever I felt like, or Netflix binging!

This time by myself, without my colleagues, has set me thinking about retirement, the specifics of retirement - as in - What should I do after I retire? Where should I retire to? How do I plan the path to retirement? Right from the start of Tamahar, my aim was to build leaders who will take over and continue the good work, and these plans were always in place and are happening at this time. What I am thinking though, is how do I structure this take over? How long will it or should it take? In my earlier life (before this last 6 months), I had always thought that I would work at least till I was 75-80 years - without getting in the way of progress and if I last that long, but now I am somehow not so sure (this has nothing to do with the professional success/failures/lack of goals, but rather due to some personal reflections).

One of the most important learnings came during my visit to Australia/New Zealand. I was amazed to see how folks down under take the work-life balance equation seriously and how Asians are opposite. We must incorporate this balance in our life. Its amazing how we lived our lives before the advent of the internet, or the smart phones. We survived, even thrived. Work can wait, work need not control your life, seek a good balance. And, this is definitely something I will work towards incorporating within the Tamahar team. We have always told the team that they should work within the hours and give themselves and their families time, but now, I will make it a rule. People have to show proof of their pursuit of some activity which is beyond work, family and household chores. It doesn’t have to be everyday, it can be 15 minutes to begin with, but it should not involve social media madness. I loved the Aussie characteristic of physical activity, running, sports, hiking, that was beautiful. 

Somehow, at this time, 2 days from my official return to work, I can feel a tugging in my heart, work is staring at my face, the many things we were aspiring for are falling into place, which means a lot of working hours, but am I ready? Do I have the same mental and physical strength that I had earlier, should I prioritise the work-life balance? Does this make me a fraud? Espousing something and working towards something else?

Would I recommend this sabbatical to others? A resounding YES, most definitely YES. I echo Vishal’s suggestion of making a list of things to do during the time of absence and tearing it and throwing it away. Makes so much sense. My suggestion to people who like me wondered when to take time off, TAKE IT NOW! The world survives without us, let’s not take ourselves so seriously. Let’s be healthy and happy and get back to work with renewed energy and a clear mind. We will be of better assistance to the organisation when we are CHILL. Plan a few things if you have a bucket list, but don’t cram them all within the 3-6-9 months. Take one day at a time and most importantly, don’t feel guilty of whiling away time. You have earned it.

I can’t thank The Cocoon Initiative enough for getting this amazing idea and working on it, making it happen for us. The money helped, but what felt more amazing was that someone cared for our health and wellbeing, being at the top is lonely at times, the stress and the 24/7-foot on the pedal is draining, it felt so warm and heartening to know that someone cared enough to say, Do it, Go on ahead, REST. WE UNDERSTAND. This feeling was wonderful. I am not equipped enough to advise The Cocoon Initiative, but if I may, please stay this wonderful, don’t let the vagaries of the world change this attitude.

One more thought, would it be possible for you to extend a small hand to the team that works without the leader? Maybe a monthly call to ask if they need any support? Tamahar was in a good place, we have people who will step up and take over in my absence, but there may be other organisations where the leader has been toiling away without a good second-line. I feel if they can get this support, the leaders might consider taking a break, and returning with a cleaner vision, renewed energy.

​Once again, thank you for this opportunity, Vishal, you have been wonderful with your quiet presence and sharing. I am looking forward to returning back to work.